"Don't eat all of the first course""Don't leave anything on your plate"If you don't eat everything but you can't leave anything on your plate, what are you supposed to do with it?Here's an interesting article on digestion. See particularly the section: FACTORS THAT AFFECT THE DIGESTION

I feel so weird with the eye contact toasting rule that I usually make a crazy face. It almost feels like a moment where you need to break the ice, because it can be so solemn and ceremoniai!It's not like I'm shy and I don't have a problem with eye contact in the street or during conversation, but the ritualistic eye contact toast sort of weirds me out.

I agree that it is SO confusing now to toast WITHOUT doing the whole scary eye thing. Oh, and Leah- I do the same thing as you. I stare at people so scarily, trying to making light of it, but they don't realise, they just think I'm really into it. hehe.

In my neck of the US, right in between Sam de Bretagne's America and Kyliemac's America (I'll let you guess where that is hehe), we rarely toast when drinking, and when we do, it's a free for all, no eye contact, arms crossing everywhere. It makes me quite confused when I go back home and there aren't any more rules to follow!Also, the whole 'eat only a little during the first course' reminds me of when my real family was invited to my host family's for dinner. The first thing that came out was a quiche-type tarte, and my family, believing this was the main course, dug in. Little did they know, there was a LOT more food where that came from! To this day they'll sometimes still talk about how full they were :) Shame on me for forgetting to warn them! Anyway, great show girls, keep it up!

I just wanted to say that I've often seen French people put ice in their ros� - I remember being really shocked by it, but apparently it's for people who want to have some wine, but who don't want to get drunk (as the ice melts, it waters it down).

Sometimes the mind doesn't quite work right. I forgot to give you the site for the digestion thing. Here it is: http://members.aol.com/mcfighter/digestion.htm

One more rule: Don't push food onto your fork with your knife. I lived with a French family for a while and they were telling their kids (probably because of me) "On ne pousse pas avec le couteau. On pousse avec le pain."

I liked this post! Ooh, that sounds a little like when you get a haircut and people say "your hair looks so great" and you wonder, what did it look like before then? But, that's not what I meant, all your podcasts are great, bien sur. Anyways, I have a couple comments(mini novel style, of course.)I agree with KM about the fact that despite having read tons of books on French manners, that didn't mean that I didn't find things to be diiiiifferent. I believe myself to be someone who has pretty awesome manners and before I got used to the French manners, it was easy for people to think I was rude and not just foreign. I'm all about "Monkey see, Monkey Do" when it comes to manners.I find it hilarious that you two say in theory the manner is this, but go on to explain you don't practice it. Haha. Welcome to the club. I don't finish my plate, I drink cold drinks(ice cold water, yumm), I split the bill according to what each person has ordered when with other anglos, I put my bread on my plate and I think I sometimes even eat with a hand in my lap(can't remember.)On bon appetit, I think it is with people you eat with all the time, families, spouses, etc that you wouldn't say it at every meal. When I lived with a host fam in 2002, we would only say bon ap when it was a special meal, when guests were over or when I made something(that was a rare occasion.)On speaking lightly, I'm thinking this would be applicable in a formal setting with strangers because amongst my French friends, we definitely get into those types of topics(although not as deeply maybe as with my American friends.)On the toasting, klinking of glasses and staring into the yeux. I find this so ridiculous that I've decided to make a joke of it. I stare every single person down with my scary, enormous eyes and make them laugh. Little do they know I'm mocking their ridiculous rules.To answer KM's question...In my neck of the woods in the US, we just kinda throw our glasses all together, look wherever and we don't care if our arms crisscross with other toasters(no, we are not drinking with kitchen appliances, you know what I mean!)Ciao!

very interesting. I'll admit when I was in Paris, I was totally spotted as an American with my hand in my lap eating at the bistro! what do you do with that hand? just lay your arm on the table but not elbows? Italians are freaky about cold drinks too. youd think it was the bringer of death.lol but I like my drinks cold and I have not suffered ill from it yet. =) Thanks for the lessons - i learned alot.

having just suffered through quite a few dinners with the french boyfriend's parents, i wish i could have heard this podcast before i went on vacation! :)my bf's family was always concerned that i wasn't eating enough. if i didn't take a big enough portion, they would automatically ask "what you don't like that?". this happened every night, with every entree, meal, fromage & yaourt course served...no matter what they were convinced that i didn't like anything that they were serving.good thing i was able to sneak things on fab's plate when he wasn't looking...btw, i didn't realize the bread was supposed to be kept on the table, but i did notice that it was weird they kept placing it on the table.again, another enlightening podcast by k&k, what would i do without you guys!

You have a good point, Starman - it's totally contradictory!One thing is that serving sizes are pretty small here, at least in comparison to other anglo countries that I've visited. The other thing that makes it easier, at least in my experience, when you're at someone's place, you tend to get served quite a small size helping, and you can help yourself agan if necessary. That makes it easier to manage the balance between eating everything off your plate but leave room for the next course! hehe :)

This made me laugh - when I lived in Germany, people were obsessive about the whole "look into my eys, look into my eyes" things - several people told me if you don't, it's 7 years bad sex! That scares you into staring back..