dears
Here you will find all the "dears" (and all the "t-shirt ideas") that have ever existed since the beginning of time on the katia and kyliemac podcast.
Episode 6 - Dear Hospital staff, Please do not use your patient as a table. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 7 - Dear Metro Traveler, Please refrain from making love to the pole when the train is crowded, or at least from hogging the pole so that I can't hold it. What you do in the privacy of your own home or when the train is empty is your prerogative. Love and Kisses, Katia.
Episode 8 - Dear Sir, Please refrain from peeing in public. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 9 - Dear Katia & Kyliemac, Please buy some mic (mike) stands. Love, From All Of Your Listeners
Episode 10 - I like airplane jelly. Airplane jelly for me. Thank you, Muffin Man, for putting up with Katia and Kyliemac when they are obnoxious and hyperactive.
Episode 11 - Dear Listeners, What the hell is that thing that's, like, sitting underneath the turkey's neck? What's it called? And what's that thing on it's head, too? It's a crest! Are you sure? So, what's that thing that hangs under a turkey's neck. Love, Katia & Kyliemac
Episode 12 - Dear Blair, The hand turkey is on its way. Love, Katia & Kyliemac
Episode 13 - Dear Sir, If I can hear your music, on your headphones, from over 15 feet away, it might be just a little too loud. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 14 - Dear Smoker, Make the most of it while you can. Love, Katia & Kyliemac
Episode 15 - Merry Christmas to all and good night. We wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. Love, Katia & Kyliemac
Episode 16 - Dear Listerner, The dark underbelly of Paris is an interesting place. Love, Katia & Kyliemac
Episode 17 - Dear Whackjob, Please do not cut your nails into the hole where the metro comes, cause that's not cool. Love, Kim
Episode 18 - Dear Guy In The Camouflage, Grandmas and Grandpas are allowed to go to museums on Sundays too, you know. Love, Katia & Kyliemac
Episode 19 - Dear Smoker, Hallelujah! Love, Kyliemac
Episode 20 - Dear Metro Farter, The heat on the metro is bad enough, when you add your toxic fumes to the mix it's just not a fun experience. So, don't. Love, Katia
Episode 21 - Dear Guy Walking Behind Me, If you are walking on my shoes, you are walking Too Close. Back off. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 22 - Dear Inventor of Cognac, Thanks. Well done. Love, Katia & Kyliemac
Episode 23 - Dear Group of Two or More Pedestrians, Please be aware that other people need to use the sidewalk too. When you see me coming, please don't force me to step into oncoming traffic in order to avoid you. Merci mille fois, Lisa
Episode 24 - Dear Pickpocket, As far as my wallet is concernced, Back Off and go get a *BLEEPING* real job. Love, Lisa
Episode 25 - Dear Translator, "Sheriff, Fais-Moi Peur" or "Scare me, Sheriff!" just doesn't work as a title for "Dukes of Hazzard". Sorry. Try again. Love, Katia & Kyliemac
Episode 26 - Dear Self, "Je suis fini" is not a good thing to say in your French class. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 27 - Dear Salon Organizers, Thanks for bringing France to us. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 28 - Dear Symphony, Thanks for throwing up as soon as we walked in the door. It's nice to be welcomed home. Love, Katia
Episode 29 - Dear Katia & Kyliemac, Please increase your vocabulary and find another word besides "Interesting". Love, Kyliemac's Mum
Episode 30 - Dear People Who Stop In the Middle of the Stairs, During Peak Hour. Please don't. Love, Katia
Episode 31 - Do you know how to turn this thing into English? There is no English. Only Zuul.
Episode 32 - Dear Buskers, If I pay you, will you not play? Love, Kyliemac
Episode 33 - Dear Gibert Jeune, Please get me some rechargeables for my Magic Pens. Love, Katia
Episode 34 - Dear Student, After 11 weeks couldn't you figure out that this wasn't your classroom? Love, Kyliemac
Episode 35 - Dear France, Who thought putting an egg on a pizza was a good idea? Love, Kyliemac
Episode 36 - Dear People Who Thunk Up the French Traditions of Things And Stuff, What's with the bells? Love, Katia
Episode 37 - Dear Guy In The Movie Theatre, Please put your shoes back on. I don't want to smell your feet. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 38 - Dear RATP & SNCF, Spring has sprung. Summer is coming. Winter is OVER. Turn the heating off. Love, Katia
Episode 39 - Dear Tourist, A piece of advice. Break in your shoes before you come to Europe. Love, Kyliemac P.S. Otherwise you'll break your ankles on the Hobblestones. Love, Katia
Episode 40 - Dear Movie Theatre, Where were our previews? Love, Kyliemac
Episode 41 - Dear French People, Don't forget to vote today! Love, Kyliemac
Episode 42 - Dear Katia, Please don't shove unwrapped chocolate chip cookies in your handbag. Love, Your Handbag
Episode 43 - Dear Museum Guard, It wasn't US. Love, Katia & Kyliemac & Genevieve.
Episode 44 - Dear Listener. BowChicaWowWow. Love, Us
Episode 45 - Dear Apothecary, Put down the puppy! Love, Kyliemac
Episode 46 - Dear Kyliemac, Next time, Lick his head. Love, Kim
Episode 47 - Dear France, What's up with the Roly-Poly pillows? Love, Kyliemac
Episode 48 - Dear Katia, Remember what happened with the cookies? Bananas are no better. Love, Your Handbag
Episode 49 - Medieval. Med-Evil. MeDiEvAl. Med-Evil or Mid-Evil. Medieval.
Episode 50 - Dear Tori Amos Concert Goes, How did you know when to rush up to the stage? Love, Kyliemac
Episode 51 - Dear Happy Tourists, Stop being so damn happy! It's not like you're on holiday or anything. Love, Katia
Episode 52 - Dear Blogger Meetup Gods, Thank you for the weather. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 53 - Dear Kyliemac, Please take off the Screaming Headphones before you start talking to me. Love, Katia
Episode 54 - Shirt Idea #6,472 : Tourist Rescue Unit
Episode 55 - Dear Julien, You are our Nouvelle Star. Love, Katia
Episode 56 - Dear Kyliemac, Like, your 80's self called, and she wants herself back. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 57 - Dear Kim, Stop playing footsies with me under the coffee table. Love, Katia
Episode 59 - Dear Katia & Kyliemac, Stop lying on this podcast about your alcohol consumption. Unlike what you said in the previous episode, you didn't drink two bottles of wine when you were at my place last week, but six. Love, Frog With A Blog
Episode 60 - T-shirt Idea #7,622: I sleep with the Muffin Man.
Episode 61 - Dear the Person Who May Or May Not Be Related to Me, But Is Not My Sister Or Any Of My Parents Or Anything, It totally rocks that you slapped Prince William on the Arse. Love, Katia
Episode 62 - Dear People Making Out At Top Of The Stairs, In Front Of The Metro Doors, Or Just In Front Of Things In General, Don't. Get out of the way. Love, Kyliemac. And Katia, 'Cause I'm annoyed about it too. Grrr.
Episode 63 - Dear People Sitting Near Us On the Grass, Bubbles are Fun! Get over it. Love, Katia.
Episode 64 - Dear Muffin Man, Thank you for not playing the Rabid Bunny game while we're recording this episode and changing it to the new Zelda. The other one is far too distracting. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 65 - Dear France, Your Cheese - MmmMMMMmmmmmm. Love, Us
Episode 66 - Dear My Friend Gobo, While we appreciated you lending us many mixed CD's for our wedding, it wasn't so great when, at the moment that the cake came out, Happy Birthday played. Love, Kim
Episode 67 - Dear Listeners In France, Make up the guest beds, Katia & Kyliemac are coming to visit! Love, Us
Episode 68 - Dear Listeners, Thanks for the Lovvvvvvvvve. Love, Kyliemac...and you could say and Katia, you freekazoid!
Episode 69 - Dear Muffin Man, Can you tell me what I need to do when I get to the really big scorpion creature on Zelda? Oh, by the way, I'm taking really good care of the cat. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 70 - Dear Hachette-Oxford Bilingual Dictionary, I want to have your metaphorical babies. Love, Kim
Episode 72 - Dear KeeleeMack and Kayteeah, You are both femme fatales, I am sure that I have déjà vu-ed you in a past life. Would you like to go on a rendez-vous with me encore to the restaurant and we can talk to the Maitre D' and we can order à la carte, and you will have a bon apetit, and zen we can go to my house and have a ménage à trois. Love, All Zee French Men in Zee World. P.S. R.S.V.P.
Episode 73 - Dear Listeners, We now return to our regularly scheduled podcasts. WOO-HOO! Love, Katia & Kyliemac
Episode 74 - Dear Man Peeing On The Wall, The eye contact is bad enough. Please don't smile at me as I go past. Love, Katia
Episode 75 - Dear Katia, Please turn off your Twitter notification before we start recording the podcast. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 76 - Dear Mother Nature, I know I've been writing you letters of complaint. But the one upside about the cooler weather is: The Metro smells less bad. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 77 - Dear Man On The Metro Quai, The world is not your toilet. And that especially includes Number Twos. Love, Katia
Episode 78 - Dear Kyliemac, Your Dogface. Love, Kim
Episode 79 - Dear Kimmeh, You left your M&Ms at Katia's house. Love, Kyliemac. P.S. If you don't come back soon and pick them up, there won't be any left.
Episode 80 - Dear French Sales People, Smiling is not a crime. Love, Katia
Episode 81 - Dear Katia, I know you are paying my guests to change Hal's keyboard to AZERTY. Stop it. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 82 - T-Shirt Idea #6,741: I'm not a bitch. Despite what she says.
Episode 83 - Dear Kyliemac, Let me borrow that top! Aren't we friends? Love, Vivi
Episode 84 - Dear Muffin Man, I promise I'll try not to laugh so much which makes me cough all the time. Although it is kind of hard when we're doing the podcast. Love, Katia
Episode 85 - Dear Katia & Vivi, Quit fighting over the stupid ribbon. If it's that big of a deal, just cut it in half! Love, Kyliemac
Episode 86 - T-Shirt Idea #1,332: Panpipes are not made for "Woman In Love".
Episode 87 - Dear Australians, You're all bitches. Not that I'm bitter. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 88 - Dear Listeners, Please send us some dears. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 89 - Dear Katia & Kyliemac, In the future, please refrain from hitting the sauce prior to recording. Sometimes your listeners actually want to understand the podcast. Love, A Concerned And Amused Listener
Episode 90 - Dear Katia & Tracey, I said Peninsula! PEN-IN-SUL-A! Love, Kyliemac
Episode 91 - Welcome to Katia & Kyliemac. The show that makes you feel like your on Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack They're never really sure of the figures they give. They're never really sure if it's in Paris they live. Welcome to Katia & Kyliemac: Magic Pens and Laugh Attack. We love to hear them moan, and we hope that you'll come back. At least for Kyliemac's Smile & Katia's Rack (written by FwAB)
Episode 92 - Dear Katia & Kyliemac, Stop using the word "Bitch" in every episode, because my subconscious is starting to associate you with the concept. Love, Frog With A Blog
Episode 93 - Dear French People, Don't cry, but I might have just accidentally made a comparison of Baked Beans and Cassoulet. Sorry. Love, Katia
Episode 94 - Dear The Queen Mum, It's not me that's corrupting your daughter, she's the bad influence on me. Love, Katia
Episode 95 - Dear Kyliemac & Katia, Why the hell is Katia's name always first, huh? Love, Your Devoted Listener Karen In Bangkok
Episode 96 - Dear Drivers In Paris, The pedestrian crossings are for pedestrians. That's why they're called pedestrian crossings. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 97 - T-Shirt Idea #7,563: Not Crossing The Generational Gap.
Episode 98 - Dear Kyliemac, Why are all the microphone cords so sticky? Love, Katia
Episode 99 - Dear Gruesome Twosome, It's "I like to move it, move it" not "Alexa Movie, Movie". Love, Kyliemac
Episode 100 - Dearest Katia&Kyliemac, Ladies and Gentlemen. Live From the Coffee Table Studio! It's Episode 100!!!!!!!
Episode 101 - Cher Auditeur, Je voudrais un Orangina, s'il vous plait. Kim.
Episode 102 - Dear Rhino, Frog, & Pierre, The penis gourd belongs to the Muffin Man. Love, Katia
Episode 103 - T-Shirt Idea #7431: It MUST be true! I heard it from Katia & Kyliemac.
Episode 104 - Dear The Muffin Man, Please keep the sword fighting down to a dull roar while we're recording the podcast. Thank you. Love, Katia
Episode 105 - Dear Listeners, This podcast has been interrupted by Phil. We now return to our originally schedule podcast. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 106 - For the purposes of this episode, Katia & Kyliemac do hereby declare that they will attempt to not be pretentious, and will make every effort to speak their respective languages correctly. Please keep your hands and arms inside the car at all times until the episode has come to a complete stop. Thank you for listening. The podcast production. DISCLAIMER: Any and all stereotypes expressed in this podcast are the sole opinions (which they are entitled to)of the podcasters and are in no way of reflective of the general stereotypes of Australians and Americans everywhere. Thank you. Enjoy the episode.
Episode 107 - Dear Frog, Just for your information, the mouse is usually situated just beside the computer. Love, Katia
Episode 108 - Dear Katia, Mabel, Mabel, Strong and Able. Get those elbows off the table. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 109 - Dear Mr. President Sarkozy, If you were wanting to pass some obscure or controversial law, around about now might be a good time to do it, while everyone is distracted. Love, Katia
Episode 110 - Dear France, Now that smoking has been taken care of, what's next on the agenda? I suggest dog poop. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 111 - Dear Katia, It's organize with a Z. Love, Kyliemac. Dear Kyliemac, You know where you can stick your Zed. Love, Katia. Dear Katia, It's not Zed. It's Zee! Love, Vivi
Episode 112 - Dear Guy That Works On My Floor, After you finish using the bathroom, could you please shut the door? Thank you. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 113 - Dear Frog, Rendez-vous in the Coffee Table Studio at 4pm. That's k&k Time, or 3pm Frog Time. Love, Katia
Episode 114 - Dear People On The Bus, Kindness is not a crime. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 115 - Dear Listeners, Do you wanna know what's been up our sleevesies? Go to katiaandkyliemac.com to find out. Love, Katia and Kyliemac
Episode 116 - Dear Dean, Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger mushroom mushroom! You are evil and insidious. And so is Phil. Love, Katia and Kyliemac
Episode 117 - Touch-a touch-a touch-a touche me! Dear Katia, I'm not deleting that. Love, Kyliemac
Episode 118 - Dear OMG Yahoo site, While I was very excited when you reported that New Kids on the Block were going to have a reunion tour, I was very sad when it didn't happen. ps. New Kids On The Block, if the Spice Girls can do it, so can you.
Episode 119 - Dear Guy at the Rocky Horror Picture Show, throwing water to imitate rain does not mean pouring it down somebody's back. Love, Kyliemac.
Episode 120 - Dear Kyliemac, I do not want you to put the m&ms back in the bowl. Especially after they've been in your mouth. Love, Katia.
Episode 121 - Dear dude, Smoking in the métro does not make you cool. Love, Kyliemac.
Episode 122 - Dear Nouvelle Star candidates, All of you have obviously watched every season since the beginning of time, therefore it should not be a surprise that you should a. have a French song prepared, b. a song to sing a capella, c. the words properly learned if you insist on singing an English song, and d. another song in reserve. Love, Katia and Kyliemac. Ps. and if you are going to insist on wearing a baseball cap covered in silver sequins, prepare to be mocked.
-Episode 123 - Dear Kyliemac, the shoes were sexy. the hobbling was not. Love, Katia.
Episode 124 - this episode is dedicated to the memory of Phil's toyboy years. Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Philby, Happy Birthday to you. And many more. Hello Frog? uh, uh, hello? Hi. Wake up! Come over and Play with us! Huh? What? We're recording today, do you wanna come and play? Ohhhh, I'm sleeping, sorry! I can't come, it's too early in the morning. Are you sure? We have gossip! We have candy! We have tim tams! Ok, I'm coming...!
Episode 125 - Dear Stacy, You're totally right, there's five. Love, Kyliemac. I keep hearing there are seven. No way, there are six! What are you talking about? I got taught five. No, there are six. I'm sorry. Learn to count, people.
Episode 126 - Dear Lady After School, Are you trying to poke our eyes out? Love, Kyliemac.
Episode 127 - Dear Katia, Let's break out the tim tams and have a tim tam slam! Love, Vivi.
Episode 128 - Dear Katia, Why are you handing me the Roo Poo? Love, Kyliemac.
Episode 129 - Dear Alexis, Listening to the podcast is not actually having a conversation with me. Love, Katia.
Episode 130 - Dear Muffin Man, We will try to remember to use our inside voices today. Love, Katia.
Episode 131 - T-shirt idea 38,721 : Yes! We will take your photo!
Episode 132 - Disclaimer : Neither Katia, Kyliemac or Vivi claims to be any sort of fashionista. Well, Vivi might, a little bit. this episode is for entertainment purposes only.
Episode 133 - Dear Katia, I saw your tim tam stash. Love, Kyliemac.
Episode 134 - Dear Stacy, We are so giving you your own segment on the podcast. Love, Katia and Kyliemac.
Episode 135 - T-shirt idea 17,491 : turn the music down! (And on the back? Kids these days.)
Episode 136 - Dear Katia, I can't believe I just got called out from France! Hmmm. Maybe a plane trip is in order. Love, Noonan.
Episode 137 - Dear Wannabe Gangster in RER C, the iphone is not yours, it's mine. And let's keep it that way. Love always, Kathryn.
Episode 138 - T-shirt idea 632 : Katia and Kyliemac, now with more rum.
Episode 139 - Dear Rob and Bob, We might have accidentally eaten all the mint crisp m&ms already so you might have to go back to the United States of America and get us some more and bring them back and then we'll love you forever. Love, Katia and Kyliemac.
Episode 140 - Dear dude, I'm wearing a sleeveless t-shirt, you don't need a scarf. Love, Kyliemac.
